


The One Thing All Grandmothers Want

by phinnia



Series: All God's Children [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 18:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21396934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phinnia/pseuds/phinnia
Summary: And when you are God, you can actually get that.   This is a slight crossover with Voyager, that weird episode 'Threshold' where they broke the Warp Ten barrier?   Yeah.  If you haven't seen it, don't worry.  It's all explained in the fic.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: All God's Children [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533431
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	The One Thing All Grandmothers Want

Aziraphale knocked on the door of Crowley's flat. He was meant to be packing it up, but it was taking him a while.

He'd hoped Crowley was alright. He knocked again.

"What?" He heard a shout from inside.

"It's just me, love. May I come in?" 

A sigh. "Yeah, sure. Ow! Shit!"

Aziraphale came inside. "Crowley, are you all right?" 

"'m fine, Angel." He came out of the plant room - oh, he was sucking on his finger. 

"Something bite you?"

"Yeah, something like that."

The door to the plant room was still open, and Aziraphale thought he saw movement. "Darling, something's _in_ your plant room."__

_ _"Course." Crowley says with one raised eyebrow. "The plants are in there. Clever of you to pick that up."_ _

_ _"No, no, I mean - there's something _moving_ in there. About the size of a small dog." He pushes in front of Crowley to see into the plant room._ _

_ _There are three of them, and they turn as he enters the room._ _

_ _One of them has climbed to the top of a large tree. Another is sniffing gently at what looks like a small mouse. The third is mostly sleeping on a rock. _ _

_ _"Where did you get them?" Aziraphale says. He leans over, fascinated. _ _

_ _"They were ... uh, well, they were kind of abandoned on some planet. It was a bit nice. Reminded me of the Garden, actually. And I went to check it out a few hours ago, took a break from packing up the place, and found these three. They're ... sort-of-humans." _ _

_ _"How do you mean, sort-of-humans?"_ _

_ _"Well, if you took all of the stuff that makes the humans humans, and then run it through a great cosmic blender, that's what you'd get."_ _

_ _"Orange and green lizards?"_ _

_ _Crowley shrugged like he did, all spine and no shoulders. "I guess so."_ _

_ _"It's really unfair of you to look so bloody attractive when you do that." Aziraphale murmured. _ _

_ _"What, shrugging? S'not my fault, it's my bone structure."_ _

_ _"And you do have a lovely bone structure." _ _

_ _There was a ring at the doorbell. A very determined one. _ _

_ _"Bloody Heaven, what is it now?" Crowley stomped over to the door and opened it. "What?!?!"_ _

_ _"Samshiel, darling! I knew you'd be here. Now, where are they?" God kissed him on the cheek and shoved past. _ _

_ _"Where are what, Mother?" He walked back._ _

_ _"Not what, _whom_, darling, remember your grammar. Aziraphale, you're looking well." She kissed his cheek and went straight into the plant room. "Oh! Aren't you lovely! Abandoned on that planet all by yourselves, you poor things. Now. We want you ... I think three is a good age, three is awfully good. There are three of you, and three is a good age for you to be! I like that sort of mathematical symmetry." She snapped her fingers and waved a few sigils into the air, and the babies began to change. Their tails shrank, they became upright, their skin paled and became more humanoid, and they became ... human figures._ _

_ _There were two girls and a boy. They are all pale; the boy is chubby, with red curls sticking every-which way. He's still sitting on the rock. One of the girls, the one eating the mouse, has longer wavy pale-blonde hair, the other one - the one up the tree - has straighter short red hair, by her chin. _ _

_ _Aziraphale looks. They all have his bright blue eyes. Except for the boy. He has Crowley's gold ones. _ _

_ _Crowley is standing there with his mouth open. God just reaches over and closes it gently with one finger. _ _

_ _"All right. Names?" She looks at Aziraphale and Crowley with one eyebrow raised._ _

_ _"I've gotta sit down." Crowley says._ _

_ _"All right, dear, go ahead and sit down, then." God sits down on the rock beside the boy. "You look just like he did when he was your age! Of course, I kind of meant it to work like that, but I wasn't sure how it would come out. And just look at you now! You're so adorable!"_ _

_ _Crowley sits down on the floor. Aziraphale drags Crowley's ridiculous throne over to the door and stares at the children. _ _

_ _"Eve." He says. "What do you think about Eve?"_ _

"Seems all right." Crowley miracles himself a glass of tequila and drains it. "I mean, why not? Eve. And Terry. She can be Terry." He points to the one in the tree. 

"Terry with an I?" 

"No, no. Terry with a y. You know." He gets up off the floor and picks the red-haired girl out of the tree. "I get the sense that you don't want to fit in boxes any more than I do, do you? So, you know, Terry." 

"Sensible. So you're Eve, then." 

Eve swallowed the tail of the mouse that was sticking out of her mouth and made a face. She held her hands up. Aziraphale picked her up and makes a decidedly un-angelic face. "Oh my, your hair needs brushing and you smell of mouse, my dear girl." 

"Now, what do you want to call him?" God asks, picking the boy up and tickling him with slight wind gusts until he giggles. 

"Neil." Crowley says. 

"Why Neil?" Aziraphale asks him. 

He shrugs again. "I like it." 


End file.
